XXIV

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm If
mmmmmmmmmmmm You can’t
mmmmmmmmmmml Look at me,

mmmm Well, mmmmmmm It mmmmmi For
mm My dear, mmm Is unnecessary, mlll Death is
m Don’t do it; mml I haven’t changed, m Not a metamorphosis,

mFor life lies mmlll However, I’m not ml You knew before
mBeyond the mmmm Anymore the mml Your gradual
mmm Senses. mmmmmll Same mmmm Transformation;

mmmmmmmmmmml But, that is
mmmmmmmmmmml The time’s
mmmmmmmmmmmmm Way.


mmmmmmmmmmmmm Life
mmmmmmmmmmmll In Death
mmmmmmmm Creates queer shadows,

mll Intentions mmmmll Heard mmmmm The
ll That cannot mmmmll By an mmmmm Shouts, screams
l Be held here, l Ear, unwanted, unsilent; Terrify the quietness,

They seem to mmm But there is mmmm The most frightening
Destroy before mm A perverted mmmm Thing ever
ml Emanation; mmmm Sound mmmmlll Heard:

mmmmmmmmm The beat, bang,
mmmmmmmmmmmll Of the
mmmmmmmmmmll Heartbeat.


mmmmmmmmmmml Death
mmmmmmmmmmml In life
mmmmmmm Creates gloomy figures,

m Wandering mmmm About mmmmmll But,
l Without any mm Sorrow, that mmmlll Therefore, to
Care about pain, Is their privilege, mmlll Be before them

Is almost like mmm As if there mmmml To their infatuation
Surrender your mmm Were a mmmmll Their false
mmmmll Will mmmmm Will, mmmmm Definition

mmmmmmmm Of existence. It’s
mmmmmmmmmm Just too
mmmmmmmmmm Painful.

_______________________

Written two months ago.

Vice versa

Paradoxically, I am still here, trying to discover something that wasn’t covered,
But that is the way I am: stupid, though some would say that it is just
“A typical behavior,” as if I were typical at all; but that is the
Way they are: blind and mute (I wish) and deft. Yet, it
Is going to change. Why, I am still here, such a
Surprise, unpleasant, I would say, not to
Me, of course, to them; they want
Me away, far from this place,
From this walls that
Convert the art
Into dull
Ideas,
Into low
Ideas; that is a
Big problem, if you
Ask me, and, however, I
Want to be here. As a matter of fact,
I do not know exactly why; I thought this
Was a liberation, an emancipation of feelings and
Thought; I thought that through them I could acquired
The language to interpret long-distant ideas: it is not so, not now.
Nowadays, it is different; it does not matter if they accept me or not;
Whatever happens in my life, hers, I will be only a dull-lit among shadows.

On...

If this weren’t made of fire,
The hearth wouldn’t follow the ashes
To discover that nothing remains
Over the ever-glooming lilies;
Mmmmmm But this is fire,
Mmmmmm Two tongues completing
Mmmmmm A dance, always unfinished,
Mmmmmm Yet destined to be extinguished.

If they weren’t made of air,
Thousands of raindrops, or only one,
Wouldn’t be chasing sighs and whispers
To know the secret of uncertainty;
Mmmmmm But they are air,
Mmmmmm Flowing along odd
Mmmmmm Words misunderstood
Mmmmmm By clear scents.

If you weren’t made of earth,
The-End-of-the-World’s wood, remember?
Wouldn’t be surrounding a story
That once swore to be eternal;
Mmmmmm But you are earth,
Mmmmmm Covering roots though
Mmmmmm Their freedom causes
Mmmmmm A rupture of meanings.

If I weren’t made of water,
An ocean’s surface protecting
The tempest that hides
More than it really represents;
Mmmmmm But I am water,
Mmmmmm Inconstancy of faces,
Mmmmmm That hurts the skin
Mmmmmm Of the ever-green promise.

If this weren’t made of fire,
Mmmmmm But this is fire;
If they weren’t made of air,
Mmmmmm But they are air;
If you weren’t made of earth,
Mmmmmm But you are earth;
If I weren’t made of water,
Mmmmmm But I am water…

The answer wouldn’t had been yes, yes.

XXIII

Youth mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Yet, beautiful in
Ornament of mmmmmmmmmmmmml, Our conceptual
Universal illusory ideas, nmmmmmmlm Union,
Will disappear to mmmmmmmmmllllllll When
Invade this mmmmmmmmmmmmmml Intentions of
Land mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmml Lyrics restore angry.
Lowered, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Lament the ancient
Hurt, yielded mmmmmmmmmmmmm Hunting, which
And unforgotten, He’ll mmmmmmmmll Aged
Violently his pretended mmmmmmmm Vital
Efforts to mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Expectations, ephemeral
Tame mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmll, Totems of mud.
Overdue mmmmmmmmmmmmmmml Omens, portray the
Farewell and mmmmmmmmmmmmm Fantasy of
Lethargy, his loyal mmmmmmmmmml Existing,
Year after year, mmmmmmmmmmmli Eternal
Without melancholy, mmmmmmmmm Laugh of
Its mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Wanderers happily misguided.
Time mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Is always a
Hastens and mmlllmmmmmmmmmml Ticking to
Thrills him, there mmmmmmmmmmll Hatch
Within fragile shells mmmmmmmmml After
Of letters mmmmmmmmmmmmmml Hope vanishes
Blanched mmmmmmmmmmmmmml Entirely in Oblivion.
Run mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Abandon only your
Only with mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Reason between
Knowledge and stupidity; mmmlllmm The
Emptiness of truly mmmmmmmmmn In
Nonsense, odd mmmmmmmmmmmn Nature, Youth’s
Words; mmmmmmmmmmmmmmml Poverty doesn’t exist;
In mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Immortality; in ours,
Nature, time mmmmmmmmmmmml, Effort without
Gains in death mmmmmmmmmmmk Cause.
Sorrowful Youth, your mmmmmmm, Endless
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Solitude misunderstands.

Isn't it

Who cares if I acquire it or not?
After all
Mmmm Silence is always an answer,
Isn’t it?

Who cares if I stay here or not?
After all
Mmmm Presence is essential only
Mmmmmmm During the anxiety,
Isn’t it?

Who cares if I open my mouth and scream or not?
After all
Mmmm Sound has been always
Mmmmmmm An incomplete invention
Mmmmmmmmmmm Without ears,
Isn’t it?

Who cares if I lose my mind or not?
After all
Mmmm Conscience in vacuity
Mmmmmmm Equals inconscience in laxity
Mmmmmmmmmmm During madness
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm And love,
Isn’t it?

Who cares if I disappear or not?
After all
Mmmm Nobody knows me enough,
Mmmmmmm At least, to demonstrate
Mmmmmmmmmmm That it is not so,
Isn’t it?

Who cares if I write or sing or paint or not?
After all
Mmmm Neither the letters, notes nor colours
Mmmmmmm Will be enough,
Isn’t it?

Who cares if I care or not?
After all
Mmmm Since six months ago, it is unimportant,
Isn’t it.

Nostalgia

Far
away from
what I used
to call my home;
Far away from my friends,
my space, my fears, my hopes,
my masks, my reality, my nothing more.
Far away from everything else; though, this place
Is kind of comforting, intriguing, exhausting: a cage constructed
By reasonable people who pretended to release minds through locked
Windows to discover that the weight of the ideas
Is heavier when it is loaded with air.
Let’s float and fly free; it is
Easy, too much easy, indeed, when
You have never believed in
Success. No, no ma
Coeur, I’m not
Afraid of
Living.

XXII

mmmmmmm Nowhere but here,
mmmmmmmmm a golden m Nowhere but here,
The last time, mm thread; mm hiding mmmm you found me
during April's mmmmmmmm your name. m between a
m cruelty, mmmm trying mmmmmmmmm secret,
mmmmmmmmmm to escape mmmm trying
mmmmmm But not m one more time, m to reach
A lily mmmmmm you, mmmmmm an unveiled distance;
dressed as fallen mm you were undestined.
angels mmmmmm do
mmmmmmmmllmm to be
A moonlight lit mllm as once were. m to take m but the old
m with dimmed mmm In mmmmmm away mlm illusion was
mmm shines mm its own mm a dull dream; mmm forgotten;
mmmmmmm is a sin, mm caught in desires mm inside a mind
mmmmmmmmmm It mmmmm that once mmm lost in
mmmmmmm was in mmmmmm existed, mm shadows.
mmmmm April the 22th mmmmmmmmm It
mmmmmmmmm and mmmmmmmmm was 8
mmmmmmmm now it's mmmmmm odd years ago
mmmmm still the same. mmmmm But
mmmmmmmmm and mmmmm that's the
mmmmmmm of love, mmmm way of time
mmm this thin thread. mmm Adieu,
mmmmmmmmm Bye, mm ma belle
mmmmmm my death, m dame dans mercy.
mmmmmmmmm one more time.